2019 is filled with adventures. The latest one is our family vacation in Japan. Truly a joy to witness the wife and twins experience this wonderful country.
While enjoying quality time with loved ones, there was one thought that consistently entered my mind: I haven’t been to Japan for over 16 years. This wasn’t a nagging narrative. But it was persistent. And then it hit me why this deserved more attention.
I was a very different person back then. Living in Japan prompted me to be independent. Away from family and friends, I seized this opportunity to experiment and live a whole new life. It was the time when my accomplishments got to my head and I became arrogant with these successes. If I could summarize myself in two words, “selfish” and “reckless” are top of mind. Naturally, these traits caused tension and I destroyed friendships with good people who rightfully didn’t have the patience or time to be distracted by someone like me.
What a time.
But a lot can happen in 16 years. And I’m glad much of it did. Hubris kicked me so hard I hit the ground face-first. When I started to look up, I met my beautiful wife. Learned about an awesome guy named Jesus and committed my life to Him. Got married. Discovered the joy of fatherhood to the most incredible twins. Went up and down the career ladder across numerous companies. Gained loved ones through family weddings and births. Lost loved ones due to divorces and deaths.
What a time.
Much has been learned the past 16 years. These are the three principles that resonate the most in my relationships and career:
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Don’t stop learning/growing. Be proactive. The times when I felt like I’ve reached my peak or when I felt like I can relax and coast, a nightmarish train I should have seen coming hits me hard. Stay vigilant. Keep fighting. Be prepared.
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Be bold. Take risks. If I’m not stretching myself to uncomfortable levels in things I must excel in, then I become stagnant, passive and weak. Don’t go down this slippery slope. Stay hungry for what’s important.
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Measure yourself in love. If I’m not more loving than the previous year, I’m failing. Ask the hard questions to the wife and kids. Do they feel more loved? Do your friends/co-workers seek you out or are you out of sight, out of mind? You can’t be everything to everyone but you can add value to their lives – making an impact that makes them feel more loved with every moment together.
By no means have I mastered these principles. They’re easier said than done. I still mess up a lot. I forget the bigger picture. And it hurts. But if I remind myself of who I was 16 years ago, there is a clear history of progress. If anything, I should be excited for what’s to come and what is to be learned for the next 16 years.
In Japan, there is one word that brings clarity to moments like this: Ganbare! (Do your best)