Yesterday, I resigned from the Pleasanton Police Department. This was not an easy decision.
I absolutely loved learning on the job and growing with my PPD teammates. I made progress in areas that I found myself weak in from my police academy days. I’ve met new lifelong friends and together, we arrested a lot of bad people.
- My most memorable arrest was putting a man behind bars for beating his spouse – I was later informed by another police department that the night before I arrested him, he had murdered someone.
- I’ve also pulled over and detained drunk drivers – one of them had been driving a large semi-truck in a residential area!
- I smile when I think about the time I ran at top speed and caught a felon attempting to escape – we also caught his partner who had a loaded gun in his parked car.
To say the least, this was an exciting career and it’s been a privilege to serve with Pleasanton PD.
Why resign, Mike?
Despite my passion and commitment to this career, I discovered something about myself that I did not anticipate when I first submitted my application. I am not as resilient as I thought I would be as a police officer. I thought I would be able to decompress and disconnect from work during my off time. I was wrong.
When my shift ended at midnight, it would take me two to three, sometimes, four hours to calm down and get some sleep. There were terrible things that I could not unsee (suicide, child abuse, self-harm, etc.) and I often found my mind was racing – analyzing what happened, what could I have done better, etc. This often caused me to lose sleep and wake up later in the day, which severely limited time I spent with my family. Even when I was physically in the same room with my wife and kids, it was difficult for me to be fully present and engaged. I had put so much effort in becoming the best police officer I could be but I did not have the energy or time to be a proactive husband and father.
With this internal conflict, I lacked confidence that I could sustain this profession and lifestyle in the long-term. It’s not fair to my family and friends, and more alarming, this is inherently dangerous for my teammates. The last thing I want to be is a confused, struggling officer on patrol when I should be totally locked in and focused on their safety and mine. I refuse to be an increased risk / liability to my teammates, the community, and myself. My department and my community deserve someone who can be all in and thrive as a police officer. And to my disappointment, that is not me.
I’ve told all my friends and family, since Day One, how much I love and respect my department: the inclusive culture, the officers, and their dedication to the community and each other. I know the Pleasanton community is safer and enjoys a high quality of life because of PPD. And as you can see from the picture below, the community often recognized law enforcement and shared their gratitude.
On my last day on the job, I thanked PPD leadership and my Field Training Officers for always encouraging, inspiring, and challenging me to be at my very best. I will never forget their never-ending guidance and patience with me. I’ve learned so much from the past year and I gained a deeper appreciation and admiration for law enforcement because of their teachings.
In this season of life, I don’t know what’s next for me but I’ll be spending more time with my loved ones to figure that out. I have nothing but praises and gratitude to share when I think about the service, teamwork, courage, leadership, and safety all PPD officers consistently demonstrate. I’m absolutely proud and grateful for the opportunity to have served with them.
Former Officer M. Louie #371