40 years. Physically, I don’t feel it. But when I look back on all the moments that led me here, I begin to remember the decades of experience and key learning moments. Some of these moments define us, others can scar us, and a few are worth celebrating.
- Acknowledge I am merely human who will make mistakes. This requires humility and letting go of my pride – most importantly, build a plan how to learn from the mistake and move on.
- Working hard isn’t enough. Good work ethic and doubling efforts can get you ahead, but there is no guarantee or a bulletproof safety blanket – constantly ask yourself if the sacrifices are worth it.
- Networking is strategic and meaningful. Meet people to add value to their lives without expecting any help in return – in many cases, they will want to help you with their unique skills and knowledge.
- The best managers set you up for success. They have heart and a clear strategy to enable you to grow, accomplish milestones, and make meaningful impact on others.
- The incompetent managers set you up to fail and shift the blame to you. You’ll inevitably make mistakes and these managers won’t have the heart, strategy-in-place, or ability to lead you through these challenges.
- Approach each co-worker as a potential lifelong friend. Every company you’ve worked at you gained at least two solid friends and your life is much better with them.
- Becoming vegan is healthier and tastier than you think. You may still miss the taste of meat, eggs, and dairy but the vegan lifestyle reduced your cholesterol from very unhealthy levels to healthy numbers within 3 months – keep up the momentum!
- Running a marathon is addictive. You aimed to cross this off your bucket list as a one-time feat, but the preparation, the experience of the race itself, and the benefits from long-distance running are too fun and rewarding to discontinue.
- 8 hours of sleep is a must, not a luxury. For every hour less than 8 hours is the equivalent of taking a shot of alcohol – don’t ruin your daily performance in living to the fullest.
- Wear your retainer. You don’t want braces (again!)… do you?
- Find community in your passions. Even though you don’t personally know many runners, writers, illustrators, or vegans, there is always a community out there – thank you, Strava and Facebook!
- Choosing your wife is the most important decision for you and your family. Actually, second to committing your life to Christ, the most important decision is finding the one that brings you closest to God and your loved ones – choose wisely.
- Your wife is your best friend and not a roommate. It’s easy to forget sometimes after living together for so long, but don’t let the excitement, fun, and above all, the laughs, go away – explore life together!
- The happiest wife equates to the happiest life. This is absolutely difficult but the best of times are always when your wife is happiest – keep chasing her!
- If your wife is singing or humming on her own, you know you’re doing well. The silence, the lack of smiles and eye contact, and the rushed busyness are the red flags.
- Before you marry a woman, get a cat and a motorcycle first. You totally failed here but keep thawing her icy heart towards felines.
- Learn to be happy without a family and learn to be happier with them. In your infertility days, believe you can be happy without children and in your parenthood days, know that your positivity and approach to life will be replicated and infused into your children.
- Take the time to date your wife through parenthood. Spend that extra money on a babysitter to give you and your wife the much needed time to rest and love one another or you may find yourselves as very tired roommates.
- The “golden age” for raising twins starts at age 4. No more sleep training, potty training, or diapers – tears of joy!
- Teach your twins the best of who you are. Your strengths will become their strengths if you consistently show them in a way that inspires them to improve.
- Teach your kids to avoid the worst of who you are. You must first focus on what you don’t like about yourself and change (repent) before even attempting to teach such topics.
- Friends come and go and that’s okay. People change, you change, and circumstances change when very close friends become distant and distant friends become very close – simply enjoy the time spent together while you can.
- Watch out for EGRs (Extra Grace Required folks). They may annoy and discourage you, but there is still valuable wisdom you can learn from their interactions with you.
- Don’t hold grudges. You don’t deserve grace for what you’ve done but you have been forgiven – EGRs can change too.
- If an EGR consistently drains you, then block them. Learn and grow separately until you have the wisdom, energy, and resilient mindset to be good to them.
- Pray for your enemies. The world will be a much better place when flawed people encounter epiphanies and find opportunities to repent and become new (and good) – that is worth praying for.
- Even when you’re at your best, someone won’t like you. It absolutely sucks that your personality, humor, approach to problem solving, etc. can be annoying and upsetting to a few handful – learn from your mistakes but also know that these individuals may be stressed out and going through issues you cannot detect or influence.
- For everything you gain, you lose something else. The opening line for Star Wars: Clone Wars (Season 2, Episode 9) reminds you that everything has a cost.
- Drek happens. The crap may hit the fan but what really matters is how you clean up your mess and rise from it.
- The deeper sorrow carves into you, the more joy you can contain. Khalil Gibran’s words are spot on – the worst moments of your life are directly related and become the foundation for the best moments of your life.
- The night is darkest before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming. Harvey Dent from The Dark Knight frames hope in the best way and reminds you when you were at your lowest.
- The darkest moments can be redeemed. Maybe not immediately after but there is something amazing you can do (possibly for others) because of this experience.
- Work is the best form of ministry. As you earn people’s trust and respect, they will find you valuable and encouraging to the point they will want to know what you believe and represent.
- When you delight an audience, it inflates you. But you have to know what you are giving to them, not what they are giving to you. John Lithgow reminds you in the “WorkLife with Adam Grant” podcast the value of creative output that is often overlooked.
- Satan doesn’t need to deceive us; he just needs to keep us busy. Pat Gelsinger wrote this in his book, “The Juggling Act” and reminded you that busyness keeps us distracted from what we’re meant to do in this world – so stay focused on the important things in life.
- Produce things that are rare and valuable. Instead of wasting all day grooming superficial stuff on social media, pour your energy into mastering a difficult skill – if it’s not difficult, it won’t be rare or valuable.
- A completed small project is better than an incomplete epic project. While you have ambitious goals, you need to develop and learn skills through smaller milestones so they can be the building blocks to your dream projects.
- Keep life fun and fresh. Don’t burn out. Staying disciplined and focused are good but you will burn out if you don’t experiment with something else every once in a while – find things that will rejuvenate you to the state of mind where you can refocus on those projects.
- Enjoy the moment but also capture it while you can. Memories can be easily forgotten, especially when people leave us too soon – remember and celebrate those moments decades later by capturing them now on camera, writing adventures down in a journal/blog, and sharing it with loved ones.
- Measure yourself in love. Ask the hard questions – Does your wife and kids feel more loved? Do your friends and co-workers seek you out or are you out of sight, out of mind? You can’t be everything to everyone but you can leave an impact that makes them feel more loved and valued.
Every lesson learned has a story worth sharing. So much more to write and I’m excited for the new decade!